"Does your blog bite"? "No, my blog does not bite".
My new friend, Parthenia, whom I have never met, spoke to me via a stranger's cell phone over the gulf between Mississippi and Galveston last night. A voice of sanity amidst the din at O'Whoever's. She said she lives her life by the Golden Rule, and caused me to consider this for myself. You know, Do Unto Others, etc. So with all the lies I've been writing, I fully expect a great deal of original BS coming my way in the future. Please don't let me down, and remember, a true lie must always be useless.
"Hey, I thought you said your blog did not bite?" "That was not my blog."
But that reminds me of another story...
One day in Graham, North Carolina (just cuz I'm from Graham don't make me a cracker) I was busy breaking up with my ex and updating my new internet dating profile, when I got an IM from my future cousin. This guy in Atlanta liked my photo. His was strangely familiar, but kinda cheesy, and long distance is frustrating, ain't it? We e-chatted awhile under our mutual aliases, and I went out running, expecting that to be the end of it.
Next time he wrote, I got his first name, Malcolm. Shortly after that, he emailed his phone number and sir name - hmmm, the same one my Mom was researching for her massive and tedious geniology project. She once mailed me a 17x12 foot family tree in size 10 type. I called Malcolm to joke that we might be cousins, but it was okay to pursue this, since Georgia is Like That. He said his family, the Bradts, had a big fat geniology book. Did mine? Well, yes, mine did, too. Was it blue? About seven pounds? Yes... What was my name?
He found me on page 674, under seven generations of grandparents (the Bangermorphs married the Bradts back in 1856), and along side six first cousins and siblings, and a hamster. I was intrigued - I hadn't dated a cousin since Sunday school. We saw each other itinerately for about six months, wierding out our friends, and comparing Georgia and North Carolina barbecue. But eventually the novelty wore off. We really had nothing in common except a blood line. Our paths grew apart when he became a vegetarian. Last year, Malcolm moved to a hollow in Tennessee, and married a pig. He wrote recently to say that they had moved in with his wife's family and named their new daughter Pearl (among swine), and she can be found on page455, under Bradt, Malcolm: offspring.
My new friend, Parthenia, whom I have never met, spoke to me via a stranger's cell phone over the gulf between Mississippi and Galveston last night. A voice of sanity amidst the din at O'Whoever's. She said she lives her life by the Golden Rule, and caused me to consider this for myself. You know, Do Unto Others, etc. So with all the lies I've been writing, I fully expect a great deal of original BS coming my way in the future. Please don't let me down, and remember, a true lie must always be useless.
"Hey, I thought you said your blog did not bite?" "That was not my blog."
But that reminds me of another story...
One day in Graham, North Carolina (just cuz I'm from Graham don't make me a cracker) I was busy breaking up with my ex and updating my new internet dating profile, when I got an IM from my future cousin. This guy in Atlanta liked my photo. His was strangely familiar, but kinda cheesy, and long distance is frustrating, ain't it? We e-chatted awhile under our mutual aliases, and I went out running, expecting that to be the end of it.
Next time he wrote, I got his first name, Malcolm. Shortly after that, he emailed his phone number and sir name - hmmm, the same one my Mom was researching for her massive and tedious geniology project. She once mailed me a 17x12 foot family tree in size 10 type. I called Malcolm to joke that we might be cousins, but it was okay to pursue this, since Georgia is Like That. He said his family, the Bradts, had a big fat geniology book. Did mine? Well, yes, mine did, too. Was it blue? About seven pounds? Yes... What was my name?
He found me on page 674, under seven generations of grandparents (the Bangermorphs married the Bradts back in 1856), and along side six first cousins and siblings, and a hamster. I was intrigued - I hadn't dated a cousin since Sunday school. We saw each other itinerately for about six months, wierding out our friends, and comparing Georgia and North Carolina barbecue. But eventually the novelty wore off. We really had nothing in common except a blood line. Our paths grew apart when he became a vegetarian. Last year, Malcolm moved to a hollow in Tennessee, and married a pig. He wrote recently to say that they had moved in with his wife's family and named their new daughter Pearl (among swine), and she can be found on page455, under Bradt, Malcolm: offspring.
posted by K at 10:49 AM
3 Comments:
I thought the golden rule was, "He who has the gold, makes the rules."
The pig must be terribly disappointed, your cousin being a vegetarian and all.
And for future reference, Fish, the Golden Rule is: "Do unto others, then run."
must remember that, and the good thing is I am ready for the running in any state of drunkeness
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