This one's reallly long, but I had 15 minutes to kill, and it's been days since I wrote. Well, this could have happened to someone, I guess...

The phone rang about 2:30 on Saturday afternoon. It was Aunt Lily, stirring me from poolside and 80's rock. The usual guilt set in, since she lived just four blocks away, I didn't visit enough, and she had been old forever. I was in junior high (nearly a woman in my mind), but she still talked to me like I was six. "Why don'tcha come on down for some pound cake?," she cooed. "I got some sweet tea!"

I decided to walk, and immediately regretted cutting through the orange groves. It was 95 degrees, according to the Tan Report on Q105. Two of the sullen, skinny kids from over by the railroad tressel were hanging out under the trees, kicking rotten oranges around and stirring up the fruit flies. I knew they had already picked me out as a target, 'cause they got real quiet as I approached, then the one with the hairlip started snickering. I tried to keep my stride, but the dark sand was deep and sifted into my flip flops, seering my feet. I felt like a giraffe at the watering hole.

Donny Mesgers threw the first orange. Missed! Then the second shot knicked my shoulder and gooed up my hair. Donny's little brother was winding up, and I knew it was time. I ran under the next tree and grabbed an orange that partially disintigrated in my hand, and let it fly. It fell apart, but sprayed fermented pulp over my assailants. That really pissed 'em off. I kicked off my shoes and ran, trying to hover over the burning dirt. I could hear their sneakers sinking into the ground behind me, getting nearer.

Evasive action was useless, but at least when Donny caught me by my hair, I was in the shade. I grabbed Donny's shirt, and yanked him near to grab the hand that held my hair. I pulled until I was able to connect my forehead with his nose. The blood poured out, dark and hot all down my arm, and his hand grew slippery. I held on as long as I could, but he pulled away. Luckily his accomplices had run off, and when he realized he was alone, he cursed me a couple of times, and stomped away. As he sunk over the next small rise, his image wavered in the heat. It looked as if he was walking on the water of the lake in the distance. I noticed something in my hand, sticky with Donny's blood.

It was a ring. It said, "Auburndale Bloodhouds 1937" on one side, and "Football" on the other. Not realizing it was probably alos made of gold, I threw the nasty evidence to the gournd. "Asshole," I muttered, and walked on to my aunt's house.

I was covered in pulp, bugs, and blood, and she said, "Baby doll! You look precious!". You could give my Aunt Lily an empty box for Christmas, and she would nearly cry form joy, telling you it's just waht she wanted. I ate pound cake, and drank tea, listening to her tell eery stories about the dark side of the family that she only told to me. She wrapped my blistered feet in chewing tobacco poltices, and said some little versus I couldn't understand. I was in no hurry to head out into the heat, even though I wasn't too scared of the Boys anymore.

About twilight, I stepped into the grove again. The sand had cooled, and all kinds of small animal tracks ran between the dusty trees. I was nearly home before I heard the footsteps behaind me, near the splattered orange that got my hair pulled. It was Donny. He was covered in dirt and blood, as if he had not been home yet. We stared each other down. Then his houlders fell. "That was my granddad's ring," he said. He sounded like he was gonna cry, and I told him so. Still, I said I'd help him look.

As we circled the tree where we'd fought, we smelled something putrid. A long-dead cow (judging by how flat it was)laid in a nearby drainage ditch. "Gross," Donny said, and picked up a stick to poke it with. As we got nearer, the cow's stomach began to move in great waves. I screamed and Donny jumped back. The rest of the cow was stiff and decomposed, but the leathery stomach rolled like the ocean. Suddenly, a small dark face appeared between the cow's teeth! Then a long, wide body emerged, with it's scaly rattish tail. It was an armadillo, quickly followed by a mate. They scurried out, covered in whatever the cow at last, and ran straight toward us. One glittered slightly around it's snout. "My ring!" Donny yelled, and tackled the second armadillo. The first leaped in to the air in attack, and scratched my arm from elbow to wrist. Donny rolled around with the first and came up worse for the wear, but victorious, with the ring. We slapped high fives, and went to his house to drink his Dad's beer.